Embracing Spiritual Polarity

There are certain things we understand more clearly because we've experienced their opposite. We appreciate discipline differently after we've seen what happens without it, perseverance means more when we've been tempted to quit, and courage becomes real when fear gives us every reason to back down. I think that's what people are often trying to describe when they use the phrase “spiritual polarity,” but we need to be careful with that terminology because spiritual polarity isn't a defined biblical doctrine, nor does Scripture teach that we must personally experience evil, sin, or the opposite of a virtue before we can understand what is good.

What Scripture does give us, over and over again, are contrasts. Wisdom and foolishness, humility and pride, faithfulness and unfaithfulness, self control and indulgence, courage and fear, obedience and rebellion, light and darkness, the flesh and the Spirit are repeatedly placed against each other so that we're forced to examine which direction our lives are actually moving. Those contrasts aren't presented as equal spiritual forces that somehow need each other to exist. God doesn't need darkness for His goodness to be good, and we don't need to experience sin in order to understand righteousness. The contrast can, however, expose something in us that we might otherwise have ignored.

That's an important distinction because I don't believe you need to experience laziness before you can understand hard work. You don't need to become unreliable before you can appreciate perseverance, and you certainly don't need to become a coward before you can understand courage. Sometimes the strongest convictions come from watching where the opposite choice leads and deciding you don't want to follow it there.

Proverbs uses this kind of contrast constantly. Proverbs 10:4 (ESV) says, “A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich.” This isn't a blanket promise that every hardworking person will become financially wealthy or that every person experiencing poverty is lazy. Proverbs gives us wisdom about the ordinary patterns and consequences of life, and here the contrast between slackness and diligence forces us to consider what our habits are producing.

That's something coaches and athletes should understand pretty damn well because habits eventually expose us. Everybody can talk about being disciplined, committed, mentally tough, and hardworking, but eventually our behavior tells the truth. Discipline becomes visible when doing what needs to be done is inconvenient, perseverance becomes visible when quitting would be easier, and courage becomes visible when doing what's right carries an actual cost.

Those qualities aren't proven when circumstances cooperate with us.

That's also why I wouldn't contrast perseverance with “instability,” because they're not true opposites. Perseverance is closer to steadfastness and endurance in the face of difficulty, while its practical opposite would be giving up, abandoning the work, or refusing to continue when things become difficult. In the same way, grit isn't really a biblical virtue with cowardice as its direct opposite. Grit is a modern term we use to describe sustained effort, determination, and persistence, while Scripture more often speaks in terms of endurance, steadfastness, faithfulness, self control, and courage.

Those distinctions matter to me because Christian coaches shouldn't take popular leadership language and slap Bible verses on it until it sounds biblical. If we're going to use Scripture to shape our convictions, Scripture has to be allowed to define the standard.

James 1:2 through 4 (ESV) says, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

James isn't saying hardship is automatically good or that every difficult experience makes somebody stronger. We've all watched people go through hard things and become bitter, angry, defeated, or destructive. The point is that the testing of genuine faith produces steadfastness, and God can use trials as part of the believer's growth toward spiritual maturity.

That's a much stronger message than “hard times make strong people” because sometimes they don't. Difficulty by itself isn't a character development program. How we respond to difficulty matters.

Sports give coaches and athletes constant opportunities to see that response under pressure. You find out a whole lot about yourself when you're losing, when you're sitting behind somebody on the depth chart, when your body isn't responding the way you want, when you've been corrected for the same mistake again, or when months of work haven't produced the result you expected. Those moments don't magically create character as much as they reveal what has already been developing underneath the surface while giving us another opportunity to grow.

That's where honest self examination becomes valuable. I prefer that language to “introspection” in a Christian context because introspection can easily become endless self absorption where we spend all of our time analyzing ourselves without ever moving toward repentance, obedience, or change. Scripture certainly calls believers to examine themselves, but biblical self examination doesn't end with us staring inward.

Psalm 139:23 through 24 (ESV) says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”

Notice where the focus goes. David isn't only examining himself. He's asking God to expose what he might not see and then lead him where he needs to go. That's a different posture from endlessly analyzing our personalities, feelings, strengths, weaknesses, and motivations until we become the center of our own spiritual lives.

For coaches and athletes, that kind of examination can get uncomfortable because we're usually much better at identifying everybody else's weaknesses. Coaches can tell you exactly which athletes lack discipline, communication, toughness, maturity, or accountability, while athletes can usually produce an equally impressive list of everything their coaches and teammates need to improve.

The harder question is what happens when we turn the evaluation back on ourselves.

If I demand accountability from athletes, how accountable am I when I screw something up? If I preach emotional control, what happens to me when an official makes a terrible call? If I demand discipline, does my own life demonstrate it? If I tell athletes to receive coaching without becoming defensive, can somebody correct me without getting an immediate explanation for why I'm actually right?

Athletes should be asking themselves the same kinds of questions. Do you actually lack opportunity, or have you failed to prepare for the opportunities you've already been given? Is your coach really refusing to communicate, or are you avoiding a conversation because you don't want to hear the answer? Are you persevering through adversity, or are you repeating the same behavior and calling stubbornness perseverance? Are you confident, or have you become arrogant enough that you can't receive correction anymore?

Contrast can expose us if we're willing to let it.

Matthew 7:24 through 27 is also worth keeping in its proper context because Jesus isn't teaching a generic principle that a “strong foundation” leads to lasting success in coaching, athletics, business, or life. At the conclusion of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus makes the foundation very specific. Matthew 7:24 (ESV) says, “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.”

The difference between the two builders isn't that one had more grit, stronger convictions, better habits, or a superior mindset. Both houses experience the storm. The difference is what they're built on, and Jesus connects the solid foundation directly to hearing His words and actually doing them.

That's where this becomes much more convicting for Christian coaches and athletes because we love talking about our values. We put words on locker room walls, build acronyms, create team standards, write mission statements, quote Scripture, and tell everybody what our programs stand for. None of that means much if the way we actually live contradicts everything hanging on the wall.

A foundation isn't proven by what you say when everything is going well. It's exposed when the storm hits.

Pressure has a way of showing whether our convictions are convictions or conveniences. Humility sounds great until somebody criticizes us. Integrity sounds great until dishonesty would benefit us. Faithfulness sounds great until another opportunity looks better. Self control sounds great until we're furious. Courage sounds great until telling the truth might cost us something, and obedience sounds great until God asks us to surrender something we desperately want to keep.

That's where contrast becomes useful because it forces us to stop talking about virtues as abstract ideas and start examining whether they're actually present in our lives.

I don't think we need to call that a biblical doctrine of spiritual polarity, and I definitely don't believe Christians need darkness in order to understand light. What we can recognize is that Scripture repeatedly places two ways of living in front of us and refuses to let us pretend they're the same.

The question isn't whether you can define discipline, perseverance, humility, courage, faithfulness, or integrity. Most people can give a pretty good definition of all of them. The question is what happens when you're put in a situation where living them costs you something.

That's when your foundation starts talking.