My Testimony

I grew up in Chicago, attending private schools, much like many other children. Between kindergarten and seventh grade, I went to two different private Catholic schools. As is common among Catholics, our family attended church on Christmas, Easter, and Mother's Day, but the bulk of my Christian education came from school. When we relocated from Chicago to Houston in 1996, we essentially stopped going to church, and I transitioned to public schools. From eighth grade until the start of college, I could probably count on both hands the number of times we attended church. It simply wasn't a significant topic in our household, and we didn't engage deeply with church communities. During college, I worked as a bartender and waitress, which further widened my separation from God and religion, eventually leading me to identify as agnostic. 

​

In 2006, I was violently drugged and raped by someone I thought was a friend. This individual had given me a false name, marital status, occupation, and age. It was at that moment that I decided there was no God. I struggled to comprehend how a loving God could allow such a horrific event to occur and didn’t understand what it meant to have a relationship with God outside of religion. While completing my master's degree in 2009, I worked for an agency supporting survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. I began my healing journey through therapy and public speaking, gradually coming to terms with my trauma, though I often felt isolated in that process. I had never been one to share my feelings or rely on others for support, so isolation felt like the norm. 

​

Along the way, I started coaching volleyball as a side activity, which eventually became my full-time career. In 2010, I became a volunteer assistant at the University of Houston, marking the beginning of my college coaching career. Over the next 13 years, this path took me to places like Syracuse, New York; Galesburg, Illinois; and Shreveport, Louisiana. My sense of isolation persisted, and I resigned myself to the belief that I was meant to navigate life and travel alone. While I wasn't entirely unhappy, leadership positions can be pretty lonely, especially with frequent relocations. 

​

About a year into my time in Louisiana, I got married and decided it was time to stop traveling the world alone. However, due to my accustomed lifestyle, I had never developed strong relationship skills. My husband was a devout Southern Baptist, while I identified as a vocal atheist. To support him and my stepson, I began attending weekly church services with them. 

​

Gradually, I transitioned from an atheist mindset to an agnostic one, becoming open to the possibility of God's existence. In December 2020, I underwent invasive neck surgery that left me at home and immobilized for about six weeks (C5-6-7 fusion). Although recovery took longer, I could at least start driving after that initial period. Over the next two years, I had three additional surgeries, including a C7 laminotomy, a labrum repair in my right shoulder, and a C4 disc replacement. I became heavily reliant on medication while trying to keep myself mentally occupied with work to distract from the relentless and excruciating chronic nerve pain. 

​

During my 2022 college season, I experienced a3-4 month episode of anterograde amnesia due to a negative interaction between two medications, making daily functioning increasingly difficult. I struggled to remember my players' names and had to keep a photo roster on my phone. The only people aware of how severe my situation was were my assistant coach and athletic director, as they witnessed my daily struggles. It was one of my athletes mother who figured out what was happening. After observing me on the sidelines long enough, she knew what my typical demeanor looked like. She asked for a list of my medications and found the interaction (she is a pharmacist). Once I stopped one of the meds causing the most harm things started to go back to normal. But to be honest, there is some permanent long-term damage. I am so grateful she caught it when she did. Thank you Mrs. St. Martin!

​

My marriage began to crumble under the weight of chronic pain, heavy medication use, and my inability to recall the previous day. I had been sleeping in a recliner on and off for about a year and a half, which took a toll on my marriage. In January 2023, while recovering from my final surgery, I began to question whether I wanted to continue coaching. I was grappling with chronic physical pain, deep depression, and anxiety. One day, while sitting on my couch and scanning LinkedIn job postings, it felt as if a voice urged me to start a website discussing the intersection of faith and athletics. I was encouraged to change my coaching approach and how I understood my athletes rather than quit coaching altogether. Initially, I wrote articles from an academic perspective, but as I researched and studied Christianity for my writing, I began to notice changes within myself. 

​

Not only was I attending our Baptist church regularly, but my heart was also beginning to shift towards the Lord. I enrolled in a graduate certificate program in Christian ministry through Liberty University, spending the summer of 2023 taking four accelerated master's courses, including family ministry, evangelism, and small group ministry. 

​

The start of my 2023 season was rocky at home; my then-husband was frustrated with our lack of intimacy, my chronic physical and mental pain, and the intense hours required of college coaches, particularly during preseason. We typically worked about 100 hours a week, leaving little time for home life. Coaching is not just a job; it's a lifestyle, and without support from your partner, maintaining a healthy marriage and running a solid program is challenging to say the least. 

​

We decided to separate in the first week of September, and I informed my athletic director that I was applying for other roles. He graciously assisted by writing letters of recommendation. I found myself in a position where I needed to find a new place to live, pack, move out, apply to new jobs, coach a college team, and seek a new home church. Though I wouldn't have considered myself "saved" at that time, I was prioritizing my newfound interest in Christ. 

​

I explored several churches in the area but found none that resonated with me. Some of my athletes encouraged me to try Celebration Church of Shreveport. On my first visit, they handed me a Diet Coke and a bag of popcorn, telling me to enjoy the movie. I was initially confused but accepted the Diet Coke, my favorite soda, which I jokingly refer to as my "stress pop." I sat down to watch clips from the movie "King Richard," discussing its relevance to the sermon. Coincidentally, I had just started working for NCSA, the same company as IMG Academy, which is featured in that movie. During the service's conclusion, I began to weep as I prayed for Jesus to alleviate some of the stress and anxiety I was experiencing amid so much loss and transition in my life. I was overwhelmed by pain and unable to focus on anything else. When I left the church, I felt virtually no stress or anxiety, and I felt lighter. 

​

That day, that moment changed the course of my life. I signed up for the upcoming baptism at that church and was officially saved and baptized on December 3, 2023. Since then, I have not only thrived in my new job but also become an active member of my church community. I volunteered on the welcome team and participated in a mission trip to Ecuador with the church in September 2024. I am currently in the process of moving back to Texas, where I have already identified a couple of potential home churches and plan to become more involved. I've also been featured on several podcasts, sharing parts of my testimony and faith with others. My website has published over 100 articles, and I write and share a daily devotional across all my social media platforms, also texting it to about 15 to 20 people each morning. I have not missed a day of writing a devotional since November 3, 2023. Additionally, I had the opportunity to speak at a Fellowship of Christian Athletes event alongside one of my former athletes.
 

Ashley McDonough

Saved by Grace 11/12/23

*This testimony was written/recorded in October 2024