Accepting vs. Respecting

Respecting someone’s beliefs and accepting someone’s beliefs are not the same thing, but somewhere along the way we’ve started treating them like they are.

Today, if you disagree with someone’s worldview, you’re often labeled intolerant, closed-minded, or even hateful, regardless of how respectfully you’ve treated that person. It seems like we’ve lost the ability to disagree well. Healthy debate has been replaced by hostility. Curiosity has given way to conformity. Instead of asking questions and learning from one another, we’ve become quick to shame, cancel, or dismiss anyone who sees the world differently.

I think there’s a better way.

Accepting someone’s beliefs means embracing them as true or valid for yourself. Respecting someone’s beliefs simply means recognizing that another person has the right to hold those convictions while treating them with dignity. Respect doesn’t require agreement. It means refusing to mock, belittle, or devalue someone simply because you disagree. It means being willing to listen, ask questions, and understand why they believe what they do, even if you never change your own mind.

I spent several years writing interpersonal and sexual violence prevention curriculum for schools, nonprofits, and businesses. A large part of that work focused on recognizing the warning signs of emotional and psychological abuse within relationships. Looking back over the past fifteen years, I’ve noticed many of those same unhealthy patterns beginning to show up in public discourse, often from people who claim to be fighting for justice or tolerance.

We’ve slowly embraced the mindset that you’re either completely with us or completely against us.

When disagreement is no longer tolerated, people often resort to pressure instead of persuasion. That pressure can look like:

• Using physical force or coercion to make someone adopt a particular belief.

• Threatening punishment, exclusion, or ostracism if they refuse to conform.

• Using guilt, shame, or emotional manipulation to pressure someone into agreement.

• Insisting that only one viewpoint is valid while refusing to consider or respect other perspectives.

• Spreading misinformation or half-truths to influence what people believe.

Trying to force beliefs on another person is unethical and rarely changes hearts or minds. More often, it damages relationships, breeds resentment, and discourages critical thinking. That last one should concern all of us. Ironically, many of these tactics aren’t much different than the manipulation we warn people about in emotionally abusive relationships.

As Christians, the Bible repeatedly calls us to love people, show compassion, and treat others with dignity. We see examples of respectful engagement throughout Scripture, including Paul’s interactions with people of different religious backgrounds, and passages like Romans 14 and Titus 3 encourage believers to exercise humility and grace. At the same time, Scripture never tells us to accept every belief as truth. In fact, we’re repeatedly called to stand apart and not conform to the patterns of this world. We can respect people without compromising our convictions.

While I’m not an expert on every world religion, I can confidently say that many faith traditions encourage treating others with kindness and respect. Buddhism places a strong emphasis on compassion toward all people, while Hinduism recognizes that individuals may pursue different spiritual paths. Even when our beliefs differ, there is still room to treat one another with dignity.

College athletics is one of the best places to put this into practice.

Every year, athletes from different cultures, backgrounds, political views, and faith traditions step into the same locker room wearing the same jersey. They don’t have to agree on everything to pursue the same goal. They learn to trust one another, sacrifice for one another, and celebrate one another’s success despite their differences. In many ways, sports become a classroom where respect is practiced every single day.

“Okay, Coach Ashley… so how can student-athletes and coaches respect the beliefs of others while staying true to their own convictions?”

I’m glad you asked. Here are seven practical ways to do exactly that:

• Listen to others with the goal of understanding, not simply responding.

• Acknowledge and appreciate the different backgrounds and perspectives represented on your team.

• Treat every person with kindness, fairness, and respect regardless of what they believe.

• Avoid language or behavior that demeans, insults, or marginalizes someone else.

• Focus on the values your team shares, such as hard work, integrity, sportsmanship, and personal growth.

• Encourage honest conversations where people can ask questions without fear of ridicule.

• Respect personal boundaries, including religious and cultural practices, even when they differ from your own.

At the end of the day, respecting someone’s beliefs doesn’t require you to accept them as your own. Some of the strongest relationships are built between people who disagree on important issues but still choose to treat one another with dignity.

College athletics reminds us that unity doesn’t require uniformity. Teams don’t succeed because everyone thinks the same way. They succeed because people with different backgrounds choose to pursue a common purpose while respecting one another along the way. If we carried that mindset beyond the court, field, or locker room, I think we’d all be a little better off.